I did the most craziest scariest thing today. I resigned from my current job (Company Z)

In saying that, I’ve ONLY been in this position for approximately 6 months in total. I thought that this current job would be the “greener side” I was hoping for. Sadly, it’s not. It’s complicated.

 

Previous to this role, I worked for another similar organization(Company X). I was pretty lucky to score a job when I did mainly because it was the middle of the GFC and the mob I was working for then was going down the road of “bankruptcy”. It was an extremely tough time to be going to job interviews back then and fearing that I was going to be jobless.

So i worked for Company X for over 3 years. It was approximately 6mths into the simpleton role I was promoted to a higher and better position. Unfortunately the pay was NOT that great but hey – for an unexperienced person, i really couldn’t complain. It was the “role” that I was after. Then a year and a bit after being in that role Company X’s owner decided to sell and we ended up merging with a bigger organization and just became a “department” of the many things that they sold. I would consider myself to be one of the lucky ones, many employees who started with Company X hadn’t even seen a payrise in the years that they worked there, from my initial promotion to the takeover, I actually got pay increases whereas others didn’t get one until the takeover itself.

The merge in truth was a total nightmare.

My nightmare started when the Company X announced the new “organizational” chart for the new structure- the most stupidest thing that they did was not the restructure itself but ONLY put names to 3 or 4 positions and basically the other 70 odd positions were left with “job titles” and no named employees. They did send out as part of that email with the “every employee will have a position. There are some new positions and any one can apply for them AND any position with more than 1 employee currently in that role or more than 1 interest- interviews will be performed”. It caused a LOT of angst to every single employee.

Knowing my luck, I ended up having to reapply for the same position again because the “other” business that we affectively merged with had another manager doing something similar as myself. The reality was- even though I was better qualified than the other person that I was against, this person- at the end of the day came from the BIGGER company that swallowed us up and the people that were interviewing us came from the “BIGGER” company.So there was a big chance that they would protect their own.

I spent my 27th birthday worried sick that I was going to be unemployed. I should have started looking for a new job then- the stress wasn’t worth it. I stuck it out because I knew if anything, they would have to keep me because training their own in our complex matters was going to insane and nobody could afford the “time” away just to train someone on tax legislation. And yes- I got to keep my job (so did the other person) which annoyed the beejeebus out of me because seriously THEY should have thought about having 2 managers in our region instead of making us fret for no reason to begin with.

Then we had to deal with some wise guy’s decision to merge two systems into one without data checking. I don’t know why someone would make such a stupid call. I would never recommend it UNLESS there’s a “cleanup” team who fixes up the mess that undoubtly would transpire from this. I told them early October that year that a launch date inf December would be suicidal- I was told not to be so negative and that had it all under control. I can tell you- they didnt. I, with a few others ended up cleaning up the mess that the “powers” that be created. During this time, I copped a lot of verbal abuse from some very angry clients whilst working late nights trying to sort the stupid mess out. I should have left then but I didn’t- It was the Christmas period and frankly nobody hires around that time.

The final straw for me was my boss who I had to report to- he was a complete and utter jerk. He tried to come across as “friendly friendly” but he was like a jerkl and hyde type thing. I never KNEW when he would be nice or go on the attack. There were many occasions when he would go on the attack and I would be on the receiving end of his tantrum. Only ever me… mainly because my other colleagues were around his age (or older), or maybe I just seemed like a pushover. I probably should have gone to HR but I know -long term it wouldn’t have gotten me anywhere. It doesn’t help that his boss (all of our bosses) that he reported to was also a JERK and a BULLY too..

I can tell you – I did apply for a lot of jobs during that period- but I never even got a “bite”- I don’t know if the recruiters/HR knew I was reeking of desperation to get out but I never got a call, no interviews- NOTHING

 

Then one day, a colleague told me about this job with Company Z- they had initially gone for the role but decided not to however still knew that I wanted to get out of such a toxic workplace (put it this way, besides all the things Ive mentioned- it didn’t help that the office morale was so low which makes it harder to stick around and work with). So i did and I got the role.

 

As the months went by with this role- I realised that I could never achieve the goals that they set out for me. The expectation of what my manager(who hired me) wanted and the CEO wanted were two different things. But as it was manager whom I reported to, he was insistent that we went his way, plus he was the one who would have made the final decision to whether I stayed or left. (yeah- constant power struggles at the top are always a headache for minions like me) I was okay with that- he was a GREAT manager, really supportive and really good at what he did. Then he left.

And now I’m stuck with doing what the CEO wants me to do- a part of the role of which I actually HATE. Had I known from the start this where I’d be in 6months time. I can tell you- I would have stuck it out with Company X(been unhappy with my manager and the workplace BUT I loved doing what I did). And Now I hate doing what I have to do…The other problem is- it’s a tought market at the moment, I cannot grow the business the way they would expect me to. Eventually, I’d be sacked for never meeting the KPI’s that have been set to me.

Plus the office dynamics are weird. The staff don’t even socialise much with each other and when they do-it’s a convo I can’t even join. They all previously worked with each other at one point or another. Whenever they hire new staff- they actually come from the previous company (their competitor) and poach them to our company- which makes me an outsider.

Don’t get me wrong, I try to mingle but it’s hard. I mean if I ask “hey, how was your weekend” which is a natural question to ask on a Monday, I get “good” as a response. Now I can ask “what did you get up to “- the usual response would be “not much” and I leave it at that. However, another colleague asks them the same question and they go into a 20min convo session. Yeah- it’s been 6 months and it’s pretty much like that. And it’s not to say that it bothers me because I usually just sit in my office and ignore them- i can work on my own just fine- but I just think it’s weird if I continue to ignore them forever right?

The travelling thing also doesn’t work out for me anymore- the last 3-4 years have been great, I’ve been able to travel around Australia and get to see some great sights, eat at lovely restaurants and sleep in beautiful hotels. But now that my mum’s not well, it’s harder for me to be away. Plus long term- if we ever decide to start a family, I really can’t leave a newborn at home so that I can travel(even if it’s for work), Mr_54632 already does his fair share of travel, imagine both of us being away for a few days- what’s going to happen to our children? EEK

 

And so- I made the tough decision about a month ago- to leave. I also wanted to get OUT of the industry that I’m in. It’s a small industry to be in, but the training and knowledge I have is ACTUALLY valuable and very employable at ANY firm that does what we do. But it’s an industry that I don’t want to be part of- UNLESS of course we go through another GFC and I’m going to be out of a job again.

But to leave this job, also means a MAJOR paycut- which is a crazy thing to do.But that’s the thing, you need to start somewhere again to be able to build knowledge and experience again.

Once again- I am trying to chase the hope that it’s “greener” on the other side thing again. It might turn out to be a total nightmare, it might be the best thing I’ve ever done.. but it’s something that I’m excited either way.

It’s going to be life changing….

 

 

 

 

 

So yesterday the lights went outside in the foyer area of our office, which also meant that the lights in the shared kitchen area was out and the toilets had no lights either.

Luckily for the kitchen and the toilets, there are windows(although it’s opaque) so when the lights all of sudden went dead- I wasn’t completely sitting in the dark.

Good thing- i couldn’t pee in my pants (in fear) hahaha- funny now, wasn’t funny when it happened.

 

Now the thing is with the ladies toilets is that to get out to the foyer area, you need to open 2 doors. Basically, whoever designed it figured that they didn’t want people to “walk” straight into the ladies toilets, so as you walk in, you almost walk into a small little room, then there’s another door to open the toilet/sink area.

Personally I think it’s a pointless design because the “room” you walk into isn’t big enough to even be a janitor’s closet but whatever.

Now-this little room doesn’t have any windows, and when the lights are out- if you’re not quick enough to open the second door to “light” then you’d pretty much be standing in the dark.

I already find the ladies toilets are tad creepy as it is- so I was struggling to go to the ladies toilets because I was already creeped out by the dark “foyer”/”hallway”. The only way to combat the “not standing in the dark” thing was to stretch out like I was in a yoga class as one door opened- I’d reach over for the other door handle and then when the door opened, I bolted out of the toilets like a scardy cat that I was.

 

I’m chicken as shit, seriously, so much so that when I realized this morning that the light issue still wasn’t fixed, I drank the minimal amount of water so that I wouldn’t be going to the toilet every 20minutes live I have been for the past 3 weeks.

 

Good news is- the electrician came in just now to fix it

Now I can go back to drowning my body in water

This morning I woke up to the news of the bomb blastings at the Boston Marathon.

I cannot fathom what kind of sicko that decides to hurt innocent lives such as this. It’s sickening and a disgusting act.

My heart goes out to the injured, to the dead and to all their families. Their lives will never be the same again.

 

 

I don’t know what else I can say…

 

 

ever since my mum became ill, our family has had to grow up in general.

my mum’s the backbone of this family: she cooks, cleans and runs the entire household. 

now she can’t do anything – so we’re left to fend for ourselves. My dad makes simple vietnamese dishes that ONLY he can eat. He fries a lot of fish which stinks up the entire household, so much so, when my mum was home on one occasion-he was yelled at because the smell was making my mum feel sick

so now he cooks his fish outside- like a true fobster.

 

I bought 2 Michelle Bridges cookbooks and started cooking the simple meals from them. So far, I’ve made a few stir frys… although I’m terrible at following instructions and I make it up as I go in regards to sauces but I use similar portion sizes so that I’m not over eating.

Turns out my “random” sauce experience is somewhat a big hit with my sister and Mr_54632. 

I always try to think of healthy quick meals because let’s face it- unlike housewives who don’t go to work and have plenty of time to make these dishes. I get home at 6pm on days that my mums at home and 9pm if she’s in hospital. I barely have enough energy to eat let alone cook, so the meals have the yummy and simple. 

 

Besides cooking, we gotta remember to do our washing, one week, I almost ran out of clean underwear and was panicking.. and luckily found some in the wrong cupboard drawer of my tallboy.

Yes, clothes used to be magically washed…

 

I know, we used to have it good.

 

but it’s been a good experience to learn…

 

 

OH.. and some good news..

i’m now weighing in at 81.7kgs.

before i started michelle bridges 12wbt challenge thing.. i was like almost 86 kgs..

so woohoo to me!!!!

 

 

Was speaking to one of my male friends yesterday (we’ll call him Mr. A) who was concerned that the chick that he was chasing after wouldn’t like him for who he was.

He pointed out that at age 26 and turning 27 later this year, women just expect a guy to be working full time (he’s not- he’s gone part time) and that he would have his own place – whether renting or on his way to one day owning it (he doesn’t, he still lives with his parents) and that he’s extremely successful in every way.

I said to him- flawed as he thinks that he is. if a person was going to judge him by materialistic things then seriously they are not worthy to be in his life. Granted he may not be working full time (he was previously) but has decided to go back to study (should be commended because it takes guts to go back to study especially after you’ve thrown in the towel).

Money isn’t everything…

 

I told him that- it’s a LOT easier for the person to like you for who you are, flaws and all. Instead of constantly trying to live up to their expectation because that’s the thing- it’s an “expectation” and it’s human nature to continually to raise the bar even higher than previously to the point where it’s just not achieveable. And no amount of money would ever make someone who’s looking at your bank account really ever be satisfied with what you could ever try to give them.

In saying that, he’s a terrific guy- he’s a very good listener, he’s very generous/giving, he’s amazingly patient, he’s got a good sense of humour … some might say I’m biased but seriously, it takes very special people to be friends with someone like me.. for  as long as I have known him.

 

Personally he’s the type of NICE guy that I wouldn’t want to be hurt by some overzealous chick just because she couldn’t appreciate someone as nice as he was. And in all honesty, i wouldn’t be afraid to smackdown those b*tches either.

 

 

Today- at the half way mark, I realized that I left my sneakers at home.

I drive barefoot for those who don’t know (I’m not sure of the legality of that), sometimes I have shoes on but for whatever reason I love my barefoot on the pedal. It’s a bad habit I picked up when I used to wear a lot of heels and found it too hard to drive.

The thing is, I usually leave my sneakers usually in the passenger seat or the back seat.

Yesterday I had them on to help me remove all the groceries into the house… and I left them by the door.

 

As I was running out to work -usually it’s rush rush..  i obviously left them behind.

 

It’s a good thing I had some sandals in the boot… the other choice was black heels -would look a bit silly considering I dress like I’m going to the gym

LOL

 

For a second there, I did panic, thinking that I had no shoes left in the car and would have to turn up to the office bare feet

-_-

 

 

When I first met Mr_54632 on that wonderful Qantas flight from Melbourne to Sydney. I remember him telling me that he was in fact 24 years old and was on his way to turning 25.

I did the quick calculations in my head. I was in fact almost 2 years older than him. *shock horror*. Was I put off by it? yes, somewhat, but truth be told, i actually thought he was at least 30… yes at least!!! I don’t know if it’s how his face is (no, it’s not wrinkled) or his hair or maybe it’s his height (he’s a very tall man) but the way he spoke and carried himself, he seemed a lot older and was kinda in disbelief when it went the other way. 

To be honest, i figured, if I thought he was at least 30 and I’m usually very good at working out how old people are, then surely I wouldn’t be the only one. 

This was demonstrated when we tried to get into the Ivy Club in Sydney’s CBD and the security let him in without a hitch but had to check my ID to make sure that I was indeed over the age of 18. I was flattered but kinda embarrassed.

In saying that, Mr_54632 thought I was about 22 or 23 at the time.. max 23 years old.. hey, I’m all for looking youthful..

 

 

And so you should have seen my face/reaction at the time when weeks later, mr_54632 sheeplishly rang me to tell me that he wasn’t turning 25 this January, he was in fact turning 24 and somehow got mixed up. He even argued with his own mother about throwing his 25th birthday and she thought it was a big eager to organize something that was at least another year away…

So yes, I am 2.6 years older than my future husband. Being older doesn’t make me smarter or wiser…. 

But hey the perk is- Money will still be coming in when I retire because he still has to work for another 2 years

 

HAH!

I get excited with a new project… i.e wedding plans (okay i know i complain about it, booking things are easy, it’s having to deal with the parentals about their traditional beliefs is a pain in the backside because they make you do it but even they dont know why it has to be done!?!?!??!) and now:

 

*onto our honeymoon- initially we decided that we might go to Langkawi, malaysia for a few days, then all of a sudden we decided- no, we’ll go to the Maldives (then i looked at the hotel prices and died), then we changed our mind and figured we go to Europe- watch the Monaco f1 but my cousin’s already doing that.. so meh.

And now we’ve decided that we’d fly business class to Vietnam and honeymoon in Da Nang at one of those really expensive beachy resorts, then travel down to Vung Tau to visit some family. Going to Vung Tau was ALWAYS part of the plan, Mr_54632 is REALLY adamant about this. He’s really excited to see my relo’s in Vietnam- more so than me. It was a matter of picking a place to go to before we head to Vung Tau itself.

I like looking up reviews of hotels and places to eat, shop and relax….

so I’m getting really excited about our honeymoon. We have decided that we won’t be honeymooning straight after our wedding but to go when the sales are on. Business class tickets are REALLy expensive and better purchased when on sale, the price difference can be almost half!!! I’m more excited about flying business… more than anything else.

 

*buying our first apartment/unit together. We know we need to eventually move out of home.. so I’ve been looking at various locations around town to see what our money can get. Basically if you’re on a big budget then the world is your oyster. We’re not made of money… so we’ve nailed it down to a 2bdrm place that MUST have a car space. I would like to live in the city for the short term… and then one day move out into the burbs..but for what we’re looking for, we’d probably be locating to somewhere inner north west. I think I’m more excited about buying all the possible furniture and homewares than anything else (don’t tell mr_54632 that… or else he would freak out)

 

I know I don’t want to build because I dont have the patience for it, plus i couldnt pick out a design that I think i would like. and display home shopping is worse than actual house shopping mainly because, with a house the worst you’d wait after you paid for it is 90 days after settlement. when you build something it takes a LOT longer.. time is of the essence here!!!

i think mr_54632 gives me things to do so that i annoy him less. 

what a smart man

 

I’m pretty excited … tomorrow marks the 1st day of the “pre season” to the Michelle Bridges 12 week challenge..

the actual program doesnt start until the 13th of March…

but now it gives me more things to do!!!

 

 

To all those who ride motorcycles,

Please, please… be extremely careful when you ride your bike. Please make sure that you have the right gear on. Don’t be lazy! Make sure you have the helmet, the jacket, the pants, the boots and the gloves on. 

You will never know what can happen, it could be an idiot driver who didn’t see you. It could be you who’s miscalculated your riding abilities… but whatever the cause… when you happen to get into an accident- what you wear will make the difference to how severely you will be injured and potentially be the difference to whether you live or die.

Of course no one would ever want you to be an accident but it’s not called an accident for nothing.

But just remember your family and friends when they get that call from the hospital to inform of the terrible thing that’s happened to you. Their heart will feel like it’s skipped a beat, and that a sick awful feeling takes over and that the world is crashing down on them. 

One bad decision can be the make and break for some many lives affected- including yours.

So, please take care!

 

XoXoXo

 

Linda

 

* in saying that- Mr_54632 received a text from his close friend that he too- miscalculated his riding abilities- lost control as he was trying to turn/stop on gravel road. Indeed he fell off the bike. He’s a VERY lucky man even though he’s bike’s badly damaged (who cares) and he’s had surgery on his elbow/shoulder. There are not many people who live to laugh and tell us the tale of the crazy ordeal. But when we received that news, we were sick with worry as anyone would be….

 

But im glad … that he’s okay..