December 19, 2012
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my douchebag
I am still angry.
I am angry with my fiance, probably more disappointed than anything. I figured if I slept on it, I would be less angry, it turns out I want to throw a brick his way and hopes it hits him smack into his face. The problem is bricks are heavy and my throwing efforts are depressing of sorts.
To you- this issue may not be a big thing but for me... it is and it annoys me when:
- The other "half" tells me at the end of our working day that he is to catch up with his friend(s). This was in fact an impromptu "catchup". He never once said "hey you wanna come along". The answer most likely would be "no" because I was busy anyway. But the problem is this:
1. He NEVER includes me when he catches up with his Mate(s) and YES i could understand if they hadn't seen each other in months that sometimes you just need your "alone" time to hang out instead of having "someone" else being the 3rd wheel.
So I think to myself:
- either he is ashamed of me and can't have me around his "friends" (he says he "forgets", seriously how the fruck do you forget the woman you are marrying?!!?!?!? seriously?? that answer is enough to have me punch him in the face and then stick a needle into his pee pee)
- it's his subtle way of saying- "i need my own space" because you are in my face all the time. Which is fine but just say so
His response to this is
"next time, i will organize a dinner" as in for whatever reason, apparently i can't attend impromptu catch-ups because who the heck knows why..
His "I'm sorry" just doesn't cut it because frankly it is NOT the first time he excludes me whether delibrate or not and knowing him after being together after 2 years- I know it will happen again.
His "I'm sorry" is a spit in the face. You know why? because whenever I do something or go somewhere (including organizing work functions)- I ALWAYS think of him first, I automatically INCLUDE him. he comes FIRST above most things (not everything) but I still always think of him. Even if I know the answer is going to be NO, It's just courtesy to ask.
Either this douchebag of a man who I'm "supposed" to marry was brought up to be inconsiderate or he's selfish.
How does one "lapse" and forget to ask his "other" half.
The fact that it was 'impromptu" never cuts it with me. It's a load of BS that I have had to put up a long time. It's kinda like the time where he said he was going to stay overnight at a hotel with the rest of the bridal group with his mates because apparently they all apparently lived "oh so freakin" far from the Melbourne Zoo and that they all had to be on time.
If it were a 9am start to the wedding- sure, I could understand. the damn ceremony didn't occur until well into 11am. They all could have made it to the Zoo and back had they left at 9am from their houses.
The lie-
"the impromptu going out to bars and clubs after dinner". he apparently didn't know that was where they were going to end up. Really? even i saw that coming. man, even a 3 year old kid would have seen that coming. And to have your OTHER half lie to you "blantly" in front of so many guests that they all did nothing really and were in bed at "12am" was the biggest load of crock I had ever heard in my entire life. You know why? Someone in that group of guys were DUMB enough to posts their whereabouts onto facebook. the last place was at 2am. Idiots.
But it's always this "impromptu" business that gets me...
I did a post the other day where I HATE selfish morons. This to me is a continuous selfish act (maybe not to you but it is to me and thats all that matters).and having to be "smart" about knowing the "right" questions to catch someone out in a white lie is tiring.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do.
Some friends say that I'm over-reacting. Yes, I probably am. But this issue for me is not tiny, what might be nothing to YOU, has a different meaning to you vice versa.
You know, i figured had i written this much of a rant that I would feel better- but it hasn't. It's just made me a whole heap angrier.
