May 15, 2013

• day 10- 30 day challenge

  Discuss your first love and first kiss.

  I would like to think that Mr_54632 is my first true love where I know we both wholeheartedly love each other equally the same and are as crazy about each other.

  In terms of the way I feel for him, it’s very hard to describe…but…

   

  I’ll discuss my “first” love or what I thought was love. It would have been my third bf (I know i’ve dated way too many men).. This relationship lasted approximately 2 years and the love that I felt was almost very much one-sided. I was obsessed with a man who clearly didn’t care. It was very sad when i think about it now. I treated him with all the love and care in the world and I was always an after thought.

  It’s funny, because I was thinking about this relationship the other day when I was driving past Flinders St station. This place has a bitter memory where I remember almost 10 years ago, where I was standing around waiting in 30+degrees waiting for my bf …. and do you know where he was? Apparently out shopping on Bridge Rd, Richmond with some female friend who had given him a lift from his place and was supposed to drop him off in the city.

  I waited for a REALLY long time (approximately 2hours AFTER our designated meeting time). I tried calling him and he never responded and I’m not the type to just “go home” and I literally waited it out. 

  I was extremely worried that something had happened to him but when it turned out that he went shopping with this girl. It made me EXTREMELY angry- which I was very much entitled to be. I don’t know why he couldn’t have just said “sorry, my gf is waiting for me” and bailed on her.

  This was towards the end of our relationship where I was fed up after being treated like absolute dirt that not long after we had broken up. I remember him trying to negotiate with me that he wasn’t going to “hang out with this chick” anymore if it meant that it saved our relationship. 

  Do you know what was ridiculous about it? This was considering when this girl first came into our lives (I never met her and I cant even recall her name nor does it matter) was that I could tell that she liked him but he was adamant that they were friends…and obviously running off to go shopping with her and making me wait really irked me. Then one night where he was at her place playing monopoly with her sisters, she told him that she liked him. W T F? She knew he had a gf and yet still carried on telling him. Did I want to punch her in the face? At the time I did… but then I realized that he wasn’t worth fighting for because he wasn’t a catch, he was a financial, emotional and mental drain.

  We should have broken up long ago but I was too chicken to deal with the hardship of breaking up, and I thought I loved him… and that he loved me. In the end, I stayed around and waited (because I’m a sicko) and let all the bad things pile up where I just hated him and hated myself… It worked in the end. I was able to walk away from him and not feel any pain from breaking up. Basically you give someone an inch, they take everything.. and true to his nature- he was a dog…

  Obviously my 3rd bf wasn’t my FIRST kiss. My first kiss was the most awkward experience ever. It was with a guy that I didn’t extremely fancy.. and when I think about it now- I should be extremely insulted considering he tried to chase my friend but failed and then I was his second (perhaps choice)…anyway.. it was pretty funny experience considering we kept bumping heads (apparently he had done this many times before) and I was obviously a newbie. 

  Something for you to giggle about… about a month afterwards- I tried to call him and his mother picked up advising me that her son had gone to “monkhood”. Seriously my friends laughed their heads off -”Trust you to send a guy to monkhood” BAHAHAHAHAHAH -__-

   

   

  • 10:35 am
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