your views on religion

I’m agnostic. 

My parents are taoist/buddhist but they sent me off to a Catholic school and I learnt more from the bible then I did about buddhist/taoist values.

I became agnostic when I became interested in history, and frankly religion creates a lot of conflict and hate. I’m not sure what is the right religion, some have extreme beliefs that make it hard for me to believe in or change my faith, others just really confuse me.

In saying that, I respect all religions- they all have their good points and bad points.

Yeah- I’m such a fence sitter…

The Live Below the Line is a charity where a lot of people who choose to participate try to live on $2 a day for approximate 5 days.

The money raised goes to those who really need it.

You can find lots of information on their website: https://www.livebelowtheline.com.au/

I really commend those who participate and help those who are in need.

I however, really get annoyed by media/celebrities who discuss about them doing it. The latest article really annoyed me. You can find the article here.

Like with anything, although they’re trying to bring awareness to the masses, I really hate how they just complain about how hard it is to live in just $2 a day and then you look at what it is that they purchased and where it is that they purchased their food.

These people go to the local supermarkets who charge a LOT of money for a lot of the foods. A lot of the foods can be sourced a lot cheaper at different places. For example they could have gone to a FRESH Food market where things like eggs(yes even if they’re caged) wouldn’t be $3 but a lot cheaper.

People who live below the poverty line (sure the people we’re supporting aren’t in Australia per se), but even so, they definitely wouldn’t be shopping in a supermarket that’s for sure. And wouldn’t be complaining about $1 milk or $1 bread and definitely couldn’t careless whether or not the chickens got to walk around the block or sat in a cage all day. Frankly just having something to eat is enough- you can’t be choosey when you’re poor.

I was so annoyed reading the article because all i saw was “complain complain complain”… and they tried to be humble in saying “There’s a day and a half to go, and I’m confident my family will make it. While I’m missing cheese and looking at my cookbooks longingly – it’s the choice we are given that billions aren’t that is what lies at the core of LBL. We have choices and we shouldn’t take them for granted.”

It’s like they’re doing something heroic- which they are not. It’s merely stepping into someone else’s shoes for 5 days… just to see what the “worst off live like”.

This is considering even though they may have lesser to eat or not as great quality and choice- these people still have a roof over their heads AND a good income stream to pay for the bills and food(once the challenge is over, everything will go back to normal)

But the people that are really struggling not only have little to eat but housing is also another problem and they dont write stupid articles complaining about it.

Your views on drug and alcohol

I’m very anti drugs- unless it’s the kind where your doctors prescribed for your illness and you’re not abusing it.

Personally I think that people who take illicit drugs should fork out for their own medical expenses and not burden the taxpayers for their medical treatment. But that will never happen, and that’s just my view.

I don’t get the whole “taking” drugs thing. I know it’s supposed to “blow” you mind away and give you some radical experience but is it worth it? Not really, considering half the stuff that people take are done in backyard labs where nobody really knows what’s been concocted and added into the drugs sold. To me, that’s really really scary especially without the knowledge of the ingredient- nobody knows what the side affects are going to be. I think the people who take “party drugs” should film themselves and watch their behaviours, you’ll be surprised that the “crazy experience” is much of an experience at all… in fact it’s a tad embarassing to witness people off their faces in general.

I know plenty of people who take drugs and have walked away fine, but all you need is one bad dose and your life is over. These are the risks you take and frankly when things go astray- I personally do NOT have any sympathy for them.

I also don’t have any sympathy for people who get caught with drugs. Australia has a very soft approach on dealers where it’s a few years in prison. But some idiots decide to take the “risk” and go to certain countries and get busted… usually Asian countries who believe in the death penalty. I know Australia is anti- death penalty… and we always ask for clemancy for Australian citizens but frankly we need to respect OTHER countries laws. We are not above the law in any country, as their citizens would not be above our law… and frankly, if you are dumb enough to carry the drugs into countries that have no qualms in giving you the “injection’, then it’s your own fault and problem when you do get hanged..

I have lesser harsh view of alcohol- perhaps because the other is ILLEGAL and alcohol is still LEGAL. In saying that, I think more people die due to alcohol related deaths than to drugs…

But I can’t condemn people who drink alcohol because I’m no saint- never done any drugs, but can’t really say I’ve never had a crazy binge drinking night out. I have however don’t drink on a regular basis. One incident has put me off alcohol in general.

although I try to avoid the city on Friday and Saturday nights when people go out on a drinking rampage, alcohol + drugs change people’s behaviour and moods and a lot of people become violent.. which scares me..

However, in both cases: drugs and alcohol- I usually look the other way if people go nuts with drugs or alcohol. It’s not really my problem what others do…

I am utterly shattered as I type this blog. I don’t know how to express the feeling verbally anymore. 

Tonight my sister broke the news to me whilst it was all happening in the hospital. The doctor’s are concerned that my mum may now also have Liver cancer.

I’m not even sure of the technical terms or how this even happened. The doctors are praying that it’s just my mum’s liver playing up as per usual as she’s had a history of having an abnormal liver but whatever it was that they did that lead them to come up with this outcome is pretty dire.

Tomorrow they will run more tests, things like jabbing needles into her liver to get a sample to see what’s going on and to determine whether or not she does have liver cancer.

Now we sit and worry ourselves silly…

but really, it is what it is. If she does have liver cancer, it doesn’t change much other than the doctors having to change her line of medication and more specialist investigating and trying to understand her disease. If she doesn’t have cancer then it’s great news and the doctors will have to continue to monitor her medical condition closely.

Not knowing is the worst feeling of them all. I’m sick with worry, and I’m scared.

It’s like we just can’t catch a break. I just want my mum better and home…

not more sick…

this really sucks and it hurts

You’d be very proud of me…

Yesterday I came home, marinated my drumstick in a teriyaki sauce and ran off to the gym. Yup, you read correctly.

I had psyched myself up to go to the gym and managed to spend 10 minutes on the cross trainer, approximately 10 minutes crunching some abs… and another 5 minutes on some gym device that works you legs. 

I’ve been told by many of my gym buddies that it’s not about the quantity of time but the quality of what you do… And you don’t need to be at the gym slaving away for hours- it’s great if people can do this but for someone who lacks motivation as myself… slowly starting out is the best thing.

Indeed I am pretty proud of myself because I’m drinking more water, eating a lot better (although there are some days I sneak in an ice-cream and some fries) and now exercise. I didn’t think I would have been able to bring myself to do this a year ago, especially when I’m heading to the gym on my own accord.

After my session at the gym, I came home and cooked my 3 drumsticks (don’t need much considering it’s just me who’s eating it). I’ve never really cooked drumsticks (other than on a bbq) and seriously these chickens must have been on “roids” or something, pretty big drumsticks if you ask me.. 

I decided to chuck it in the oven and according to my dad, I had the heat on too high (it was on 180 degrees?  but he lowered it to 160 degrees) and it took 1.5hrs to cook. I was starving by the time the chicken was cooked.

I also steamed some vegetables: beans and broccolini and made a quick potato and butternut pumpkin mash with added corn.

Overall, the meal was EXTREMELY tasty and was very proud of myself. I have the other chicken as lunch… and I’m hoping my dad will eat the other for tonight’s dinner.

Where you’d like to be in 10 years?

In 10 years, I’d be 38. It’s an age that I’m struggling to fathom. 

I’m hoping to have been retired (hahaha yeah I am all for early retirement) and embracing motherhood. 

I’m over the whole 9-5 rat race, it’s just not for me. 

I really admire women who are capable of balancing work and motherhood. I know I cannot do such a balancing act. I hope to be able to stay home and be there for my children. As a child, my parents were busy working and supporting us and had no choice about this. I remember being really sad when neither of my parents could go to any event at school- I don’t want my children to ever feel this way. By no means do I blame my parents, I understand that both needed to work as times were tough when I was growing up. 

But if I do have to work because we can’t financially afford for myself to stay home, then I’d be working part time or a really mundane full time job where I’d be able to leave and not have to stress about work itself.

I also hope to move from the family home by then. For those who don’t know- After we’ve married, Mr_54632 is moving into our family home. 

Partly to save money, and now more than anything- to support my parents, especially my mum who’s battling cancer as we speak. Who knows how she will be in the future. 

After being touched by cancer, I’ve learnt that you can’t plan that far into the future… you can only live each day as it comes because tomorrow will always be different

I cannot help but be annoyed.

Mr_54632 made me wait 6 months for 21 people missing from his side of the family’s guest list.

21 people… 6 months.

he gets pissy when i make snide comments in relation to the guest list … whether it’s about timing or the fact that he will have to find the extra $$$ to cover the costs of the people he invites because unlike Asians they buy shit that we dont need or want because they dont understand that cash is king.

I have to organize approximately 40 or so “save the date cards” for the people on his list. It’s a good thing he managed to get me the list considering this is his request….. 

However I have asked him to get his mum to send them out to their family and friends and he can pass them on to his friends and colleagues.

I did make a snide comment (via email) of “it’s best that you guys do this, it took you 6mths to get give me a list. I might be waiting another 6 months for addresses. But going on how quickly you guys get your shit together, you can send the Save the Date cards with the wedding invitations to your guests”

Yeh- they’ve put me off by taking forever. I know it’s not a big deal but FUCK- if you’re going to shit me and be lazy as fuck to get me 21 names.. then f*ck it.. you don’t deserve “niceness” from me. I have a list of other shit to do in regards to wedding preparation. Either you’re going to be co-operative or be prepared to be ridiculed at every moment and every chance I get

When I looked at this- I figured..- hey I’ll wait and do this next month and start on the 1st of June.. But I guess who cares.. it’s not day specific. Although I can see why it would be easier. You know 1st of June= day 1. etc etc.. But I always like to make things difficult for myself. 

I like this because it means even when I have NOTHING to write because my life is pretty boring and sometimes nothing else interesting happens other than work, eat, sleep… at least this will keep me going.. and it makes it interesting for you to read.

And so the 1st question:

Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is.

As you all know, I am not single. I haven’t been for awhile now. I am now engaged to Mr_54632. He’s wonderful even with his flaws that drive me bonkers.

I know what single life was like, I was single for a good 2 years before I met Mr_54632. It was a very testing time, at times I thought I was better giving up on relationships because it just wasn’t going to happen. 

But as fate would have it, I would meet Mr_54632 on the same flight heading to Sydney for work. 2 years later, on a similar flight, he would propose on the plane.

The irony for me is that I hate flying- even though I’ve had to travel quite a bit for a living so it was the last place I’d think I’d be meeting my future husband. So you’ll never know where you’ll meet your “other” half…

In saying that- 

It’s been a wonderful 2+ years together- for me, maybe not so much for him

So over the weekend, whilst I was at Highpoint. I figured that it would be a great time to go to David Jones and buy something from my friend’s wedding gift registry. 

The staff printed me out a very long list of items- it seems either people haven’t started buying anything yet OR she’s got an extremely large list of items that she needs.

Now coming from a Vietnamese background- gift registries is somewhat foreign. We do CASH only for weddings… and I guess, most of the weddings I have been to that aren’t “Asian” have not bothered with a registry.

Regardless having to buy a present for the bridge and groom is a major hassle because you need to find time to buy something for them. A Gift registry is  a great idea because it means you’re not buying something that they don’t want/need.

But the registry can be a harrowing experience for the non experienced such as myself- with so many different options, it’s a LARGE task to actually physically look for the individual items on the list. 

So it’s almost just as bad as not knowing what to buy for them and wandering aimlessly in a shopping centre, except now you are wandering around in one department for an obscure object.

In the end, I gave up…

I’ve decided to just do the Asian thing and just give her cash- she has said Cash is welcome. Cash makes much more sense. It gives them the ability to buy what they were missing or pay for their wedding.

Stress avoided 

This is my last full week at my work, my last day will be the 15th of May.

I’ll have Thursday and Friday off before I will embark on a new journey of a lot of unknowns.