April 16, 2013
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I resigned!
I did the most craziest scariest thing today. I resigned from my current job (Company Z)
In saying that, I’ve ONLY been in this position for approximately 6 months in total. I thought that this current job would be the “greener side” I was hoping for. Sadly, it’s not. It’s complicated.
Previous to this role, I worked for another similar organization(Company X). I was pretty lucky to score a job when I did mainly because it was the middle of the GFC and the mob I was working for then was going down the road of “bankruptcy”. It was an extremely tough time to be going to job interviews back then and fearing that I was going to be jobless.
So i worked for Company X for over 3 years. It was approximately 6mths into the simpleton role I was promoted to a higher and better position. Unfortunately the pay was NOT that great but hey – for an unexperienced person, i really couldn’t complain. It was the “role” that I was after. Then a year and a bit after being in that role Company X’s owner decided to sell and we ended up merging with a bigger organization and just became a “department” of the many things that they sold. I would consider myself to be one of the lucky ones, many employees who started with Company X hadn’t even seen a payrise in the years that they worked there, from my initial promotion to the takeover, I actually got pay increases whereas others didn’t get one until the takeover itself.
The merge in truth was a total nightmare.
My nightmare started when the Company X announced the new “organizational” chart for the new structure- the most stupidest thing that they did was not the restructure itself but ONLY put names to 3 or 4 positions and basically the other 70 odd positions were left with “job titles” and no named employees. They did send out as part of that email with the “every employee will have a position. There are some new positions and any one can apply for them AND any position with more than 1 employee currently in that role or more than 1 interest- interviews will be performed”. It caused a LOT of angst to every single employee.
Knowing my luck, I ended up having to reapply for the same position again because the “other” business that we affectively merged with had another manager doing something similar as myself. The reality was- even though I was better qualified than the other person that I was against, this person- at the end of the day came from the BIGGER company that swallowed us up and the people that were interviewing us came from the “BIGGER” company.So there was a big chance that they would protect their own.
I spent my 27th birthday worried sick that I was going to be unemployed. I should have started looking for a new job then- the stress wasn’t worth it. I stuck it out because I knew if anything, they would have to keep me because training their own in our complex matters was going to insane and nobody could afford the “time” away just to train someone on tax legislation. And yes- I got to keep my job (so did the other person) which annoyed the beejeebus out of me because seriously THEY should have thought about having 2 managers in our region instead of making us fret for no reason to begin with.
Then we had to deal with some wise guy’s decision to merge two systems into one without data checking. I don’t know why someone would make such a stupid call. I would never recommend it UNLESS there’s a “cleanup” team who fixes up the mess that undoubtly would transpire from this. I told them early October that year that a launch date inf December would be suicidal- I was told not to be so negative and that had it all under control. I can tell you- they didnt. I, with a few others ended up cleaning up the mess that the “powers” that be created. During this time, I copped a lot of verbal abuse from some very angry clients whilst working late nights trying to sort the stupid mess out. I should have left then but I didn’t- It was the Christmas period and frankly nobody hires around that time.
The final straw for me was my boss who I had to report to- he was a complete and utter jerk. He tried to come across as “friendly friendly” but he was like a jerkl and hyde type thing. I never KNEW when he would be nice or go on the attack. There were many occasions when he would go on the attack and I would be on the receiving end of his tantrum. Only ever me… mainly because my other colleagues were around his age (or older), or maybe I just seemed like a pushover. I probably should have gone to HR but I know -long term it wouldn’t have gotten me anywhere. It doesn’t help that his boss (all of our bosses) that he reported to was also a JERK and a BULLY too..
I can tell you – I did apply for a lot of jobs during that period- but I never even got a “bite”- I don’t know if the recruiters/HR knew I was reeking of desperation to get out but I never got a call, no interviews- NOTHING
Then one day, a colleague told me about this job with Company Z- they had initially gone for the role but decided not to however still knew that I wanted to get out of such a toxic workplace (put it this way, besides all the things Ive mentioned- it didn’t help that the office morale was so low which makes it harder to stick around and work with). So i did and I got the role.
As the months went by with this role- I realised that I could never achieve the goals that they set out for me. The expectation of what my manager(who hired me) wanted and the CEO wanted were two different things. But as it was manager whom I reported to, he was insistent that we went his way, plus he was the one who would have made the final decision to whether I stayed or left. (yeah- constant power struggles at the top are always a headache for minions like me) I was okay with that- he was a GREAT manager, really supportive and really good at what he did. Then he left.
And now I’m stuck with doing what the CEO wants me to do- a part of the role of which I actually HATE. Had I known from the start this where I’d be in 6months time. I can tell you- I would have stuck it out with Company X(been unhappy with my manager and the workplace BUT I loved doing what I did). And Now I hate doing what I have to do…The other problem is- it’s a tought market at the moment, I cannot grow the business the way they would expect me to. Eventually, I’d be sacked for never meeting the KPI’s that have been set to me.
Plus the office dynamics are weird. The staff don’t even socialise much with each other and when they do-it’s a convo I can’t even join. They all previously worked with each other at one point or another. Whenever they hire new staff- they actually come from the previous company (their competitor) and poach them to our company- which makes me an outsider.
Don’t get me wrong, I try to mingle but it’s hard. I mean if I ask “hey, how was your weekend” which is a natural question to ask on a Monday, I get “good” as a response. Now I can ask “what did you get up to “- the usual response would be “not much” and I leave it at that. However, another colleague asks them the same question and they go into a 20min convo session. Yeah- it’s been 6 months and it’s pretty much like that. And it’s not to say that it bothers me because I usually just sit in my office and ignore them- i can work on my own just fine- but I just think it’s weird if I continue to ignore them forever right?
The travelling thing also doesn’t work out for me anymore- the last 3-4 years have been great, I’ve been able to travel around Australia and get to see some great sights, eat at lovely restaurants and sleep in beautiful hotels. But now that my mum’s not well, it’s harder for me to be away. Plus long term- if we ever decide to start a family, I really can’t leave a newborn at home so that I can travel(even if it’s for work), Mr_54632 already does his fair share of travel, imagine both of us being away for a few days- what’s going to happen to our children? EEK
And so- I made the tough decision about a month ago- to leave. I also wanted to get OUT of the industry that I’m in. It’s a small industry to be in, but the training and knowledge I have is ACTUALLY valuable and very employable at ANY firm that does what we do. But it’s an industry that I don’t want to be part of- UNLESS of course we go through another GFC and I’m going to be out of a job again.
But to leave this job, also means a MAJOR paycut- which is a crazy thing to do.But that’s the thing, you need to start somewhere again to be able to build knowledge and experience again.
Once again- I am trying to chase the hope that it’s “greener” on the other side thing again. It might turn out to be a total nightmare, it might be the best thing I’ve ever done.. but it’s something that I’m excited either way.
It’s going to be life changing….
