December 17, 2012
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facebook friends is ok
I’m finding as I’m getting older that i’m struggling to fall asleep and when i do, I end up having retarded dreams that make me think all day.
If I do manage to fall asleep, and not dreaming ridiculous things then I end up waking up in the middle of the night needing to go to the toilet.
Last night was a combination of both- couldn’t sleep, bad dream and needing to go to the toilet.
To top it off, for whatever reason, I started to fret about not keeping in touch with my old high school friends after seeing a photo of us girls together for our year 12 muck up day (that was like 10 years ago).
I don’t know why I wasted my time fretting about fruitless things, sure those girls managed to stay friends, but I had moved on from them a LONG time ago- 10 years in fact.
I guess in some ways a part of me must long for that old friendship especially when I see them all together attending one another’s birthdays, engagements and weddings. the financial side of me is relieved that I never have to attend (i know i am so lame)
But the reality is- and having to keep telling myself this over and over again last night…
had i not moved on from these group of girls, and found new and different friendships- I wouldn’t be the person i am today (whether that’s a good or bad thing, i dunno) but more importantly, i probably wouldn’t have gone out of my way to make different and new friends because there would never be a need to especially if you belong to a clique with a large amount of female friends.
Plus I have this thing- for whatever reason. I can never go pass being friends with more than 4 female friends and be close and loyal to them.
When I hit the quota of “close” female friends, usually someone else drops off the radar and is replaced by someone else. Not sure why that is, whether it’s a subconscious thing or something i do it delibrately. But it’s just the way it happens.
But there’s one thing for sure-
I wouldn’t trade up my current friends to go back to my old friends, NOT in a million years.
And friendships go down the road of a 2 way street, sure- i may have not made any effort, but after graduating from year 12, not ONE of those girls have EVER made contact or try to make contact with me to say “hey linda, how’s it going”.
It probably would have helped my cause had I gone to uni with at least one of them, or didn’t spend so much time with my then bf. But you know what? It’s really water under the bridge.
I commend those who are able to keep their friendships with their old high school friends and still hang out with them. I’m just “friends” with them on facebook. and i think that’s enough for me,
